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These figures suggest that about 3% of MSM do not identify themselves as gay.

Kevin's wife begrudgingly put him "on probation." He assumed a submissive posture in the relationship, leading to a complete reversal in the power dynamics within their relationship. Once a cheater, always a cheater," and there is some data to support that.

The crucial issues in working through the crisis are: • The severity of the offense • The degree of commitment to the relationship • The degree to which the offender is sincerely apologizing • Conciliatory behavior • The capacity for forgiveness • The personalities of each individual Kevin believed his confession had erased his guilt.

He argued his intentions were good and that he lied to his spouse to protect her.

The spouse feels a mixture of feelings: anger, hurt, righteous indignation and a wish for revenge.

Lying erodes the trust that must form the basis of a successful relationship. Without forgiveness, the betrayal will undermine meaningful relationships.

In some societies, coming out is not a possibility.

Many men have said to me, "Please, take this torment away from me." One young African said, "I may as well kill myself now, because if anyone finds out about me, I will be killed.

Except for occasional exposure of some high profile individual, these men are virtually invisible. He expressed his guilt and admitted that what he had done was wrong.